I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
