i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
