i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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