Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
