Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
