in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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