kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
