i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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