you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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