You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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