your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
