Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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