I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
