people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
