Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize