playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Can you bring me the toilet please
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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