Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
