Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Terrible idea I love it
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
