i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
