Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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