gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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