I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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