She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
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My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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