how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't deserve a penis
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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