Rock
Scissors
Fuck
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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