i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize