do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
