Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
