what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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