i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize