The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
