so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize