I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
