I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
