Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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