the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
