ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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