the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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