would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize