He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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