I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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