obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
