my mouth tastes like poor choices
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
