Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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