I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
