The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
