I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
