I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
wow bdsm is so cute
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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