I'm so fucking centered right now
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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