Kiss
Puke
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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