im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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