I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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