what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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