the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
