I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
