margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
